Ask yourself, how much does family matter. Now I’m not talking about your immediate family but I’m talking about your immediate family that becomes your extended family once you marry and procreate! In my personal experiences, my family gave me great support when I made a VERY spontaneous decision to leave the nest and serve my country in the U.S. Navy. For 4 years I received letters, care packages and great support from those I left behind. I traveled around the world twice and making stops in Greece, Portugal, Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, Guam, Hawaii, Dubai, & Australia. My time traveling the world led me to experience different cultures face-to-face and gave me a chance to put all the stereotypes aside and allow me to pass judgment based on my own personal experiences.
After 4 years of globetrotting, I decided I wouldn’t be pursuing a career in the Navy, and started my separation process. Scared as hell, I had no plan for what the future held for me, but I wasn’t afraid to roll the dice and make a fresh start. After returning home, I found that the majority of those who I left behind were still continuing with the lifestyles they had prior to me going into the Navy. It was like someone pressed the ‘pause’ button when I left and when I returned, someone pressed PLAY.
Growing up in Compton, I never imagined I would have traveled the world, meet my wife in Vancouver, Canada, bought a house had a family…all before my 30th birthday. Now I’m home as a Veteran, praised by many and hated by many more; which most is family! When I was in the Navy, I met a guy name B.G., and he told me that your family is going to be your biggest critic, hater and the least supportive! To this day he was right, now not all family but; YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
As a kid, I remember hearing family say, “Your uncle thinks he’s better than us” & “They got money” but what those people didn’t understand was, he was better than us; homeowner, professional, father, husband, role model. But what people fear to understand that it wasn’t because he had “Money” or a “Nice House”; it was because he wanted to provide a better situation than he had as a child. Ignorance is the number one cause of this behavior, America is a place of opportunity and granted you may have to have a certain look or conform to “The Mans” rules to reach these different levels of “success”, but there are rules and separation in all walks of life.
I hear from time-to-time, people saying “He never hangs out anymore” or “He got a little money now he’s better than us”. Truth is, society has I’m not better than you and you’re not better than me, we’re just at different places in our live. It comes to a point when you have to decide; do I want to be like everyone else or do I want to write my own story! You’re your own author so no matter how bad your life was or is, you can always rewrite the chapter, because either way you’re going to be talked about!
Life revolves around separation, whether you like it or not! There are certain things that I can get away with as a Black man that the next person can’t and that goes for every nationality. People are separated financially also, certain middle class families make too much money to be considered low income & not enough money to buy memberships to certain lifestyles. Is it fair, no! But what the hell we make the best of it, those complaining are the ones, scraping by, cheating the system and taking advantage of family.
Family is supposed to be about structure, backbone, & love. But as I get older and I see how other families are working, I’m shocked! I wonder if people think of me as the lil ghetto kid from Compton, but if they do, I’m fine with that just as long as you put “Successful” in front of that phrase! So family, it’s time to stand on your own feet! These so called “Uppity” people don’t feel they’re better than you they just worked hard for what little they have and don’t want it pissed away by the imposers of life.
Furthermore, my life is not here for you to drop in & out of my life making broken promises to my children, imposing like you’re entitled and talking shit about my family behind my back. Here’s the thing, people see what they call success and feel they have a safety net for their lack of responsibility & instability. When in essence they don’t know that I sometimes feel like an underachiever! For those who follow, thank you for allowing me this platform for my ranting!
I purposely left this post unedited, because I wanted to share my feelings as they came to mind!
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